I admit I have been a bit of a serial monogamist the past couple of years. After one of my last breakups, I decided to explore the online dating world and told myself… this is okay! Everyone is doing it… it isn’t sketchy at all!
Stigmas aside, (I mean… it is a little overwhelming to get started right?) I joined Tinder. I even dabbled a little with OKCupid. My best friends told me to be as picky as possible, which meant a very small percentage of swiping right and an even smaller percentage of responding to messages. So what worked for me?
Make me laugh
Say something clever, a little sarcastic, or joke about something in one of my photos or in my profile. Personalization is key! It goes a long way when women feel like a guy is paying attention.
Be responsive
Don’t wait several hours to text me back. I’m not idiot; I know you check your phone every 5 minutes. So I will dish it right back and respond in another few hours. When it turns into a game, everyone’s already lost. Women like to feel pursued, not ignored.
Get personal… but not too personal
All women love to feel like you’re taking interest in them beyond looks. Asking about my day is the safe but boring way to do this. There is also a way to ask simple personal questions that can segue into a first date, like asking about food or my favorite bar. Don’t ask me about my parents or what my brother’s name is if I haven’t met you in person… that’s just creepy.
Have some decency please
I will never respond to a photo of your junk, a request for photos, or anything of the sort. Does this actually work with anyone? Ew. Now you look superficial and I will ghost you. Instead, focus on niceties that lead to getting to know me (are you seeing a theme?) Pretty much anything you say is better than immediately asking me to come to your place and watch a movie. Stranger danger!
Be authentic
Women can see right through men sometimes. Yes, we love attention and we love talking about ourselves, but if it feels like an interrogation where you seem to ask a robotic list of yes/no questions to get me to open up, I’ll notice. It’s not all about me (haha yes it is) but I’m hoping in the process I can learn about you too. You love to ski as well? Great! Tell me about your favorite resort and how you accidentally broke a ski lift. The funnier the better.